I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
