that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
