My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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