I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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