College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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