everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
