Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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