She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
