i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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