Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
