he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
