We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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