so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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