i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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