i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
