People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I have post one night stand depression
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