that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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