Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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