He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
