you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think I am morally bankrupt
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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