Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
