O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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