Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
