Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
