you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
