I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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