the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
