Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
