if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
