College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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