Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize