How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
