Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
