Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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