Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
