your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
