I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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