I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
