so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
