Don't you send me to vm
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
