I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
