Your tits are I can't wait for
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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