I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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