If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
