I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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