these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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