Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
