so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize