Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
