My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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