so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
