this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
