She said her name was "party"
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize