WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
