she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
