The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
