Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
