Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
