Soap is not a condiment
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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