you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
