I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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