What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
