So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My vagina is officially offended.
So much Jack, so little girl.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
