alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I intend to get homeless drunk
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
