so explain again why im purple
no
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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