i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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