I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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