she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Randomize
